NATIONAL 24 HOUR HOTLINES AIDS

Hotline 800-342-2437

Alcohol and Drug Helpline: 800-821-4357

National Runaway Switchboard: 800-621-4000

We Tip: 800-782-7463

(to anonymously report selling or trafficking of illicit drugs)

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR PRE-TEEN OR TEENAGER

Foster Self Respect:

• Listen, Listen, Listen
• Encourage independence. It's okay to act or think differently from your peers'.
• Praise kids for WHO they are, not just their accomplishments.
• Teach responsibility for their problems. Allow them to experience consequences for their behavior, no matter how uncomfortable or embarrassing.
• Encourage outside interests, such as after-school activities, sports, church group activities, etc.

Establish Guidelines:

• Take a firm stand; send a clear "no use" message on alcohol and drugs.
• Know where your son or daughter is. Discuss that they can telephone you for a ride if needed. Develop a "code phrase" such as I have a headache to signal you to come get them.
• Insist that your teen keep you posted of any change of plans. Have ways to check and know what the consequences are if they do not adhere.
• Establish curfews for during the week and weekends, guidelines and rules. Discuss and be consistent on the consequences if they are ignored.
• Do not serve to underage kids or allow it brought into your home.
• Teach resistance skills: ways to say no; make sure they have phone #'s to call in emergencies; cab fare.
• Be willing to be unpopular as a parent. Accept there will be times your child won't like what you say- or act as though they don't like you. Being your child's friend is not your primary role during this time in their life.
• Be at home while your pre-teens or teens are getting ready to go out.
• Be awake. When they return, wait up or ask them to awaken you when they arrive.